The Piercing

Hey Everyone. Let me start by apologizing for not posting in a while, but trust me when I tell you that its not because Lyle has gotten any better. In fact so much has happened since my last post that I am having some difficulty deciding what I want to clue you guys in on first. I guess one of the more entertaining experiences for me was Lyle’s ear Piercing.

            This particular story begins with me going out of my way to put myself in situations with Lyle that might be worth reporting back to you, my loyal followers. No it wasn’t the most fun experience, but no great piece of writing is achieved without sacrifice.

With that in mind, I jumped at the opportunity to take Lyle to get his ear pierced.  Try to understand that I am not the kind of guy who is particularly keen on piercings of any kind, so I don’t really know what’s the common place scenario is for this kind of thing, but the shop Lyle picked out sure as hell was not the kind of place I would let some stranger stab me with a needle. I don’t want to sound un-manly but this was one of those Goth, black metal type places, where every employee is wearing white and black makeup and reading hell-raiser comics.  

I’m having trouble describing the man we dealt with directly but had this been a Wal-Mart, he would have been wearing a nametag that read “Hello my name is: Mordakai the unholy blood-guzzler, Have a nice day.”

After an awkward second or two of just staring at each other, Lyle mustered up the courage to state his purpose for being there, and said that he would like his ear pierced. Immediately the guy reaches below the desk and slams a rubber ear (covered in piercings) on the table. “So what are you thinking brother, something like this?” he said as he produced a massive ring that looked fit for a bull’s nose. Lyle being the generic indie- folk loving college student replied by saying, “no I think I’m feeling something a bit smaller. “Oh ok, I got you, how’s this?” said Mordakai the unholy blood-guzzler, producing an ever so slightly smaller earing. At this point it became clear that Lyle and Mordakai the unholy blood-guzzler had two completely different ideas in mind. Lyle wanted a stud, and Mordakai the unholy blood-guzzler was thinking more along the lines of a bracelet.

This went on about two more times, until finally Mordakai the unholy blood-guzzler exclaimed “Ok, I’m not going to let you go any smaller than this (producing one finial earing), or everyone is going to think you’re a little fairy.” “Um, ok,” Lyle, replied, and they settled on an earing size that was significantly Larger that what Lyle Wanted, and smaller than Mordakai the unholy blood-guzzler’s usual customer.

            After that, they took Lyle into the back room, and unfortunately I was not permitted to follow them. This did however give me the interesting experience of making small talk with the other metal heads working in the shop, and we all had a good chuckle when we heard Lyles shriek through the wall. Just a few minutes later Lyle walked out grinning with a massive iron ring dangling from one ear.  ________________
That’s about the end of this story, but I feel its worth mentioning that as I sit here writing, Lyle is sitting on the floor next to me wedeling a stick he found, and singing summer loving from grease.